Round two

Well, the facial scans...

Where do I start? I suppose by saying that Jamie and I are hurting. Our little wriggly one, our much longed for and awaited one, our son... is going to be more unique than we thought. We eventually, after much walking up stairs, drinking sugary juice, jumping up and down... saw his face. He was still coy and at times pressed against my placenta but we have conclusive evidence that he has a cleft in his lip. A gap where both halves of his face have not fused together. We do not know how large, or how deep, we do not know if it affects his nose or palette.

We need more evidence so it is back to the children's hospital for round two of high level specialist scans.

What we do know is that we have been entrusted to look after this little boy..that he arrives into a world were vanity and the seeking of perfection is important. But he also arrives into a world where he is loved and celebrated. Where his choices are like any other; they just come after a bumpy journey for the first year or so.

We are anxious, we await these tests and hope that he cooperates and does not have his hands over his face. We go to Leeds for 4D scans at Easter to have high resolution images to see if that can guide his consultant prior to his birth. If not... we just wait for him to arrive in June, and then he will show us his face and we can work out what we and you and the NHS can do to help him.

We don't pretend that this is easy to handle. We already have Joel, his heart is still repairing, he is not at the end of his journey. Emily is an outgoing, busy 4 year old and into the mix we welcome a boy who needs a lot of immediate care. We would not have chosen this, but we have been chosen to be his parents and we look forward to meeting him.

So... we wait and pray. We pray for peace of mind. Peace of heart and soul. We pray for sleep in the long and sometimes short night. We pray for those who make decisions on our behalf, on our son's behalf. We pray for the staff who will care for him and help him. We pray for our families and friends as they hurt with us, journey with us, laugh and weep alongside us. We pray for Emily and Joel as we try to prepare them for a new brother. We pray that this little one will enter the world knowing that God made him and gave him to us to care for him.

We are grateful for all who have sent messages or called or just smiled. Hopefully we will have more information on Tuesday.